Being a Dad-to-be can be tough. Here's our parent support for helping your pregnant partner get through this special time, and helping you stay sane as you begin your family life.

Throughout the various stages of a pregnancy a woman goes through an abundance of emotions, feelings, and not to mention appearances. As her partner you can play an enormously vital role and do those things that only you can do, like make your partner feel attractive, no matter how big her stomach is. After all, it’s your child in there too.

Moods

When a woman is pregnant she gets an enormous injection of hormones that are difficult to control. PMS doesn’t even begin to cover it. She may be moody one minute, weepy the next and sublimely happy an hour later. Remember, this is not her fault. It may ease off as the pregnancy progresses but don’t count on it: as every pregnancy is different.

Be sympathetic, talkative, forgiving and try to do lots of things for her – housework, errand running, etc. You may feel emotional as well so talk about it with her and with others.

Be prepared

Magazines, websites and books are generally aimed at the mother, but this is information that you’ll both need, so try to read some. You’ll need to know about the backache, colic and breastfeeding as well.

Speak to people you know that have had children – your own mother and father at least. The best advice you can get is from people who have been through it all before, or who are currently going through it. They’ll be able to give you small but important pointers, like how to get the baby off to sleep when nothing else has worked.

Be involved

Imagine if you knew that sometime soon you were going to go through probably the most painful experience of your life. The knowledge that someone else will know what they’re doing and guide you through it would take a huge weight off your mind. Go to ante-natal classes with her, and learn how to regulate her breathing throughout the birth. You’ll also learn what to expect: positions that are less painful for her to be in, what happens when her water breaks and so on.

Sex

This has a lot to do with timings. Within the first three months of the pregnancy, your partner will feel sick, nauseous and tired and so will probably not feel up to much. But after that, one of the effects of pregnancy in the middle stages is feeling sexy due to the hormones, and it is perfectly safe. As the bump gets bigger it may get more difficult but as long as you’re both comfortable, the baby will be too.

Once the baby is born your partner will be tired and sore and so it will be at least six weeks before you can have sex, let alone want to. Breastfeeding and general running around after a baby will tire you both, so neither of you might feel like it for a while. This isn't a failure, but completely natural: just be prepared for it.

Be kind

Your partner will be feeling uncomfortable, fat and ugly at times. One of the best things you can do for her is compliment her, make her feel attractive and feminine. Make her know that you still find her sexy even in the ninth month: these compliments will do wonders. Gestures like foot massages and running her baths will show that you’re there for her.

Once the baby has arrived

Be every bit as involved with your child as your partner is. It is usual for the mother and baby to feel a very strong bond because of the nine months they spent together. But you’re both the parents.

Change as many nappies as you can, and get your partner to pump if she’s breastfeeding, so that you will be able to feed during the night as well. Spend an equal time doing the housework even once you’ve gone back to work. Work is tiring, but so is taking care of a baby, so you're both in the same position.

How long can you stay at home?

Ask your work about your options for paternity leave, which will make a huge difference to this period of your life. Also, discuss with your partner what she would like to do once her statutory 52 weeks maternity leave is up. If you want to spend longer with your baby at the beginning, your work may grant you unpaid paternity leave, but the norm is usually two weeks.

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